M2: Are you tired of always breaking your pencil lead?
*8: Tired of pointless pencil sharpeners?
M2: Tired of the existential thoughts of living and the fact that we all die and nothing is permanent and possessions mean nothing and you will eventually be forgotten and that time slowly but surely marches you to the inescapable death and decay of DEATH?!
M2 & *8: Introducing MECHANICAL PENCILS
*8: With my mechanical pencil, I never have to worry about having enough lead or running out of eraser space.
M2: When I use my mechanical pencil, the sense of utter euphoria fills the very cockles of my heart as I slowly but surely figure out the meaning of life with the wisdom and knowledge that my omnipotent mechanical pencil brings forth upon me.
*8: What do I write with my mechanical pencil?
*8: Love Letters
M2: Hostage threats
*8: More Essays
*8: But where can I buy this funky pencil of the future?
*8: wait what is the internet
M2: The internet was introduced on January 1, 1983, by our chill dawgs Vinton Cerf and Bob Kahn, for military reasons. You can use the internet in libraries and even in your own home!
*8: Just don’t call anyone while using the internet.
M2: Dial-up is the future, yo!
*8: Me and my homie M2 both use the internet to watch our FAVORITE videos on MTV.com!
M2: So true, yo! I love to watch The Fresh Prince Of Belair while eating my Dunkaroos!
*8: But is it saaaaaaaaaaaffffffffeeeeeeee?
M2: The internet is unsafe for many reasons, and of course your computer can come down with a case of the sickles. But with misinformation and people believing the first thing they see, and-
*8: -Thank you M2!
M8: Somehow they did, yo yo ooo ooyo yo oo. Humans lived for- *8:if I had to guess, Five million, nine hundred and ninety eight thousand and seventeen years without it. M2: Oh. I was going to guess a dozen bean’s worth.
*8:But how does the internet work?
M2: You see, *8, the internet works by a server hosting a large amount of information in a single place. This is called the cloud, and it is pretty dope. Whenever you need to access the internet to look up SICK CAT PICTURES or something like that i dont know, then all you need is a computer.
*8: Oh I see, signals are sent out. These are called electromagnetic signals. They are pretty dope, because the first one was in 1895 yo.
M2: Thats, like, before I was born
*8: In modern times, though, signals are transmitted suuuuuuper long distances. Shizzle is displayed on your screen through pixels.
*8: By selling your data. Your data is worth more than you, your life, and possibly everything you ever could or will own.
M2: That’s depressing! Anyway,
M2: Does the government track my data?
*8: Yes, and they use it to know more about you.
M2: Oh. Can I meet dope people on the internet?
*8: Yes, and sometimes they can be…..antidope, so don’t give personal information.
M2: But how can this affect meeeeeee?
*8: The internet can make you quite sad, or happy. It depends on what you're doing, yo yo yo yo!
*8: M2, your talking about privacy risks. Untrustworthy websites can take your data, and it is important to be careful. Also, please stop buying them. We work for a reason, food, not a fad that will go away in a year. You should be buying beanie babies.
M2: *8, what do you want the internet for?
*8: I want the internet to be only ran by ME!
M2: That’s unreasonable.
*8: I thought so, yo… Uhm.. I like free and reliable information. I hope no dictatorship countries in the near future try to restrict information that’s unkind to their rule.
M2: Haha! Yeah….
*8: In 20 years? Who KNOWS?!
*8: Maybe flying cars
*8: Maybe robot servants
*8: Maybe a tiny wireless computer that will live in your pocket that will give you unlimited access to the largest library of information to ever exist, that will cost you pennies compared to how much it will help you. You might be able to take pictures, make, phone calls, watch cat videos, do ANYTHING, all with the press of a button.
M2: ………….How many Dunkaroos have you had?
*8: Haha! Yes.
*8: Anyways, yo, weren’t we talking about something about pencils?
M2: I think so
*8: Whatever, I need to go play pokemon red on my gameboy color. Can you finish what was happening before we talked about the radernet?
M2: Mechanical pencils: the future of writing things with your haaaaaaannnndss!!