Welcome to temmies homepage!!!!!
I'm 20 and i live in europe. I like my cat, videogames, reading and doing creative stuff. I currently am studying and if i could do anything i would want to live and a cottage in the woods with lots of animals
just call me mr hacer
I adopted my cat after fostering her and her siblings (foster fail moment l o l)
your eyes will now be blessed with my cat
she really likes bags
21. june, 2022
yesterday, I finished my last exam. That's it. After three years I am done. The next few weeks there will be parties and celebration but no more school.
A lot has happened in these three years, and I know myself better than I did when I started. I think I would say that I'm happier now, even though problems tend to replace themselves after you finally solve them. As much as I thought I would be emotional to think back, I'm really not. I don't even really feel relieved. It's upsetting that there is none of the emotional release that I'd expected when it took so much of me to go through.
Anyways, here is a picture of me with the danish traditional graduation cap. Mine has 5 stars on the side to symbolize 5 subjects on A-level, the red band is for the type of education I took, and yeah a few more details I don't really feel like getting into. I'll make another post after my studenterkørsel on the 25th
26. may, 2022
It has been a while. I'm now studying for exams and I got a job in legoland for the summer!:) It seems like interesting, meaningful work, and it has good pay, good benefits and a good working enviornment. But i actually just logged onto the blog because i wanted to post this cool website.
Its a website that receiptifies your most top played songs of all time, 6 months or a month. This is mine for 6 months. Sorry for the quality, i tried messing around with it and i couldn't really figure it out.
I was curious to see how it would look like for all time and a month, so i did those as well.
The top song i recently rediscovered. Its a popular danish musician that me and my mom would always sing along to in the car when i was a kid and it had me feeling nostalgic. Growing up is a weird thing.
And all time. Its fun to see how the top ones in 6 months also made their way into all time.
I have more cool things to tell you about but that's for another time.
18. apr, 2022
I finished a big paper on exoplanets which was stressful but very interesting to learn about. I love immersing myself into topics like this.
The day after I handed in that paper was the plane for my trip to Madrid. Madrid was amazing! I saw a lot of cool things, the weather was awesome and I had so much tapas it's insane. What I admired about the spanish culture is that they're a lot better at relaxing than the danish. For example, in the danish drinking culture, we drink during the weekend in pretty excessive amounts, but in spain they drink a bit all throughout the week. They're also a lot slower in resturants and cafes. I find that this gives me a lot more time to like.. just enjoy my life. I hope to learn some more spanish and possibly live in spain for a year or two, but also just adopt this attitude more into general life.
In general, I'm not doing too great. I'm struggling with a lot of intrusive thoughts and anxiety.
Oh also, I tried smoking! It just made me violently cough. Not gonna adopt that habit anytime soon.
8. mar, 2022
on the 25. of janurary, I made a post about a friend that I had reconnected with. The ride certainly didn't end there. To make a long story short, they catfished me, and there are red flags along the way I probably should have paid more attention to. So that's it. I will admit I do miss them and there are parts of our friendship that I am going to wish I still had. My brain keeps trying to justify what they did, or come up with a reason. Of course there is the possibility that they were using me in some way or that they never really cared much about me but got a kick out of lying. However, I feel like the most likely option and the one I would prefer to stick with is that they were insecure and didn't consider the consequences or the possibility that I might find out. That would also be sad, though, because when it comes to friendships you're not in it for their physical apperance or the amount of money they have or whatever, you're in it for the humor and the late night calls, the check ins and all the ways that we can care about each other. I choose to believe the last option because it gives me peace. I wish things could have gone differently, but I just can't build a friendship with someone who can't tell me the truth. If you are reading this, I would still like to know why you did what you did.
13. feb, 2022
I have been experimenting a bit with poetry and started looking into some poetry subreddits. They essentially work in this way where you have to critique two poems for each poem you post yourself, so i started out by reading a guide on how to critique well and critiquing two other works, which turned out to be a very good exercise, and then i posted my own poem, which you can read here. It is a poem about my self destructive habits and essentially me apologizing to myself. So, someone else critiqued my work which was cool, i replied clarifying that the poem was about forgiving myself, and they replied; "i know, did you forgive yourself?"
that really took me by surprise for some reason. What an intimate question. For some reason, i had only thought of the apology as something i wanted to give myself, and not something i was recieving from myself. At first i thought, well no, i can't forgive myself for behaviours i haven't put an end to yet, but that's unrealistic, isn't it? First of all, i do not know that these behaviours will ever completely go away. Second of all, is forgiving myself for these things not exactly what i should be doing in order to start treating myself more kindly?
25. jan, 2022
I recently came in touch with someone from my past and it has been a ride. It has made me realize how unwell I actually still am, and how easy it is for me to fall into harmful patterns. I have really been bottling things up for a while now, but today I broke down in front of my parents. I'm done pretending everything is fine and that's a very liberating feeling. I am hopeful that things will get better. Today I'm going to be relaxing as much as I can and doing nice things for myself. I hope for all of you that you get to be held by someone and open up the way I did today.
17. jan, 2022
I've been doing this for like a month or something and i already don't like my old posts x.x
Anyways i'm probably gonna made some additions to my blog soon
13. jan, 2022
DEAR BLOG. (If you can't tell, this is an angry post)Humans have existed for so long! Why are there so many answers missing. I don't want to know how to analyze a speech or how to calculare (that's a lie i like analyzing speeches and stuff) i want to know if there's life in space! how to deal with my trauma!! i want to know why i'm here!!!! i want to know who i am !!!!!!!!!! stupid universe with more questions than answers
12. jan, 2022
It has been a difficult start to 2022 for me. I'm kind of overwhelmed with school and difficult parts of my past coming up all at once. It's weird being a former gifted kid and now I'm just above passing average grade. I guess I'm trying to learn that I have worth without the attention of other people and without my abilities in school.
I've a session with my former and favorite (so far)psychologist, though, so I'm looking forwards to that
Hope your start to the year has been easier than mine. Much love :)
31. dec, 2021
Today I revisited a game that I played as a kid. I thought it would be funny to try to relocate my old account, and with some difficulty I did. It was very amusing to re-visit some of the things that I wrote and posted there. There was one thing that especially surprised me. In this game, you have your own character that you dress and such. It's been some years since I touched this game, so it was surprising to discover that my character had a septum piercing, since I now, years later, have one in real life. Facinating how things work out and tie together with a red string we can't even see sometimes, don't you think?
28. dec, 2021
Song recommedations for today:
- Archilles Come Down - Gang of Youths
- The Bidding - Tally Hall
- Electric Feel - MGMT
26. dec, 2021
For christmas, I got a game that was not on my wishlist and that I didn't know existed called 'kind words'. It's a game about writing nice letters. You can either write kind words to someone who has submitted a request, or you can write something encouraging in general and send it into the air in the form of a paper fly, which will appear live on other players' screens. You can also submit your own request with something you'd like advice and kind words about.
It is honestly such a beautiful game. I'm so glad I was gifted this. It's a nest of vulnerability and positivity. I anticipatie I'll be using it frequently.
23. dec, 2021
I like dark and milk chocolate, but not white chocolate. I love crunchy, mousse or yoghurt fillings, but i dont care much for caramel or nougat. Liquor makes me feel sort of sick, and I don't like marzipan or licorice, and my favorite is probably plain, but nice chocoate.
21. dec, 2021
Lately I've been reading a lot, and thinking about why humans like to read, and watch series' and such. When I read a story, it's like it starts existing not only in the book but in my mind. It's remarkable how deeply books, movies and art can affect us and our ways of seeing things. And yes, by that I mean I cried watching frozen 2.
It can scare me sometimes, how much I want to dissapear into one of the worlds that only exist in my brain, or on paper. But it is also deeply human, i think. Longing for what we can't have.
Sometimes, I'd like to be better at being present, though.
19. dec, 2021
I have recently been researching pre-christian traditions around christmas in my region.
It is very interesting to learn about and find ways to incorprate that into my christmas traditions.
It is hard to research it, though. Either it is heavy text (which is extra-hard considering english is my second language) or it is lighthearted videos partially aimed at entertainment.
Here is a few song recommendations for today:
- Cool For Cats - Squeeze
- Ghost Town - The Specials
- The Distance - CAKE